On the first day of this month, my husband and I celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary. This in itself is an accomplishment, but my pride in it is magnified by the fact that we very nearly didn’t make it. I won’t go into all of the reasons why; suffice it to say that marriage is hard. It’s hard no matter what – and it’s harder still when you may have been too young when you married, may have became pregnant too soon afterward, then subsequently faced stresses and losses and inner demons you definitely didn’t know how to fight.
I don’t believe that everything happens for a reason – I am acutely averse to the notion that life has been laid out for us, planned ahead of time by god or the cosmos, and that we must bear terrible things in order for blessings (known or unknown) to be handed out on the other side. I do, however, believe that good can come from almost anything, and that we can take lessons from our pain. None of us is immune to suffering, but we all deserve joy, and there are many ways by which it may be obtained. I found it by valuing the needs of my own soul, setting aside my want for acceptance in the eyes of others, and working hard for what I love the most.
Though I knew very little about what we were in for, I married Tracy because I loved him deeply. Ten years later my love for him and our family is exponentially deeper, truer, and full with knowledge, trust, comfort and courage.
We celebrated our anniversary by taking a trip to San Francisco, our first time getting away together since our honeymoon. It was lovely and I’ll treasure it always, holding the memory of it closer knowing that it almost didn’t happen – but together we made it so, and I am grateful.